29-29…

It’s been a while since I blogged and frankly I’m doing so now so that I could be reminded of what He has taught me. -Forgiveness.

Sometimes, the person you loved the most is someone you’ll hurt you the deepest. I found myself full of hatred.

The resentment, anger, and bitterness were slowly killing me inside… They manifested in my emotion. All I really wanted was to quit.
I had no where to go and no one to talk to. I had been badly hurt. Not just once but over and over again. I made up my mind not to forgive. And build up the wall because I want to protect myself — From any hurt because I tend to lie awake at night replaying angry scene in my mind, staring at the ceiling, rehearsing what I will say and do next… Thinking, worrying, plannning, and worst thinking of revenge sometimes. HAHA… 😅 Many times I think I can brush off things that bother me, yet there are rare time when I just really can’t. Fortunately, God uses time with Him to soften my heart and remind me that He has shown the greatest form of forgiveness, so it is imperative that I forgive others. (Ps. 103:10-12)

Today’s ponder:

Relationships aren’t easy. People make mistakes, but even the deepest wounds can heal and the most strained relationships can transform. If you are hurting today from past scars and struggling to forgive those who have wronged you.
Take it to God.. 😊

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Short Break

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Whaaaaa! Long weekend is over! Had a four days rest including the weekend due to Seollal. It’s a celebration of the lunar New Year in Korea.

I really seldom travel because of my busy schedule and finances. HAHA So I’m really grateful to have a short break.

I went to Daraitan Tanay Rizal with some of my officemates. It is only 5.4 km from Pasig City via Jeepney and trike because we only commute back and forth. The travel time was only 2 hrs. and 30 minutes. It was really budget-friendly with fantastic site.

 

 

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We only spent less than Php. 1,000.00 for one day. Including our food, fare, tour guide, and other fees such as Environmental fee, Tinipak fee and Cave fee. That costs less than Php. 50.00 per head. We didn’t overnight there because most of us had to spend time with our families as well. However, the overnight is also cheap. They offer cottages raging from Php. 250 – 1,000 depending on number of head.

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Here is the breakdown the budget and what we did. We slept over in Kim’s house on the 27th of January. Then, we cooked Adobo and rice there. Our food allowance costs Php. 600 pesos and were nine people. We travel the next day at 3:00 am. We arrived in Daraitan at 5:30 am.

 

  • TriKe going to Taytay Market –Php. 10.00
  • Taytay Market to Tikling (Trike) –Php. 7.00
  • Tikling to Tanay Rizal (Jeep) –Php. 110.00
  • Tanay Rizal to Daraitan Trike terminal (canoe) –Php. 5.00

(Optional) walking distance… you just have to cross the bridge.

  • Trike terminal to Brgy. Hall of Daraitan (trike) –Php. 60.00

Good for 6 persons so Php. 10.00 per head

 

Fees to Pay:

  • Tour guide –Php. 500.00 per 5 persons
  • Environmental fee –Php. 50.00/person
  • Tinipak Ground fee –Php. 20.00/person
  • Cave Fee –Php. 20.00/person (Optional)

What to bring:

  • Extra clothes and shoes (T-shirt, short, legging)
  • Rubber shoes, hiking shoes (sandals are not advisable according to our tour guide)
  • Cooked food and bottled water
  • Towels
  • Personal things
  • Phone and camera

*don’t bring too much things. Heavy bag will be a burden

 

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We supposed to hike the Mt. Daraitan. The summit has beautiful view on the top. It is 23oo ft. not bad for beginners like us. Sadly, the weather wasn’t good. It was raining and it was really muddy. Though we still tried but some of us gave up. Because you really have to crawl in order to go on the top/ summit. We were dirty, wet, and mucky. It was fun!

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The good thing about what they offer there is that, when you give up climbing the mountain. You still have other options to go. Your time, effort and budget will never be wasted.

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We headed on the Tinipak Ground. It was also challenging and exciting because we also climb mini-mountain and we walked on the muddy, rocky, and bumpy road. But every step along the way was so amazing because of the implausible spots almost everywhere. We took 2 and a half hours to arrived in the cave because we spent almost 15 mins.of picture and seflies in just one spot HAHA 😛

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We also wade in the small stream of water. It was breezy and cold.

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Meet our accommodating, energetic, enthusiastic, and kind tour guides.

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This is Kuya Randy. He was so patient with us every time we spent 15 minutes of taking pictures in one stone. Hehe He is also our instant photographer. He was lively and awesome.

I wasn’t able to take a picture with Kuya Louie because he was guiding my other officemates. But he was also lively just like kuya Randy. He is also kind and helpful. I was touched when he help me clean my bag and carry some of loads. He was awesome too.

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The place, the view, and the people are so amazing. I really enjoyed this adventure. I was reminded the Creativity of our Creator. The wind blow, the drop of the rain, the fog, the mighty trees, the high mountains, the vastness of the lake, and the sound of the stream of water are so refreshing and relaxing.

I will probably go back again targeting the summit. 😛

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Thank you God for this adventure. ❤

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“Love covers all wrong…”

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 “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.” –Prov. 10:12

I just like Christmas not because of food or presents but because of its atmosphere and spirit of love that reflects God’s heart. ❤

 

There were many heart breaking events that happened this couple of months that caused pains and hurts. I had conflict with some of my friends that I truly loved. Our relationship was affected. Our emotions were damaged.

 

I had been hurt to the point that I wanted to throw off the towel and leave. Found myself struggling to forgive. There were times that I don’t want to attend the church and LG because I would see them there. HAHA

Felt so distracted and felt so heavy to worship. Many times God convicted me to reconcile and forgive. I built walls around myself to protect me from hurts, pains, disappointments, and discouragement. I closed the communication. I didn’t wanna speak of anything to settle the issues. I lost appetite for all things.

How do you forgive someone when every fiber of your being resists? How do you look at them lovingly when you still have the memory of their unloving action and word? How do let go of the way you wish things had worked out if only they made a different choice?

It’s a hard thing to do—to completely let go of something painful and forgive the person who may or may not have realized what they did. I often question why it is difficult for me to forgive others when Christ has forgiven me of my sins. Ultimately, I believe when I struggle to forgive others, it comes down to a heart issue.

I just thought of Christ and what He did for me. He extended His grace over and over again. Though I have multitude of sins.. His love covered those. He has forgiven me. How could I not forgive?

When I am hurt by someone else, I find that the best way to heal is to forgive them.

It doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong.

Many times I think I can brush off things that bother me, but there are rare times when I can’t. When I find that I am really struggling to forgive a person, I realize that I can’t just “let it go.” Instead, I have to address my stubborn heart by praying and reading God’s Word. And trust me: When I am upset, that’s the last thing I want to do. Fortunately, God uses time with Him to soften my heart and remind me that He has shown me the greatest form of forgiveness, so it is imperative that I forgive others.

 

If you are hurting today from past scars and struggling to forgive those who have wronged you, take it to God. He is the only One who can truly heal our wounds and change our hearts.

 

 

 

“When a heart is full of grace, it is a heart that is kind compassion for others it always tries to find”.

I will sprout again when cut down! I will rise again even when I fall!

 

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When I said, “My foot is slipping,”

Your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.

 When anxiety was great within me,

your consolation brought me joy.

Psalm 94:18-19

Dear God,

              Your Word is just so uplifting and timely. I am so sad today. Just got back the result of the LET and I failed. I just want to cry. It seems like my dream steps back away from me. It seems like it is so hard to reach and achieve it. I’m losing a bit of hope and faith. Things are just going down hill. I feel so discouraged. I didn’t meet the expectations of my family and my friends. I didn’t meet my expectations. My feet slip a little and I feel so anxious of what the future awaits me.

           However, I do not want to question You. You are God who enthrones above the heaven. You are sovereign and good. You are faithful… yesterday, today, and forever. That’s who You are.

You will never change.

           Thank You for encouraging me today that failure is not me. It is just part of my experience. I failed this time but I shall rise up. The test does not define me. It doesn’t measure my worth and value nor You… especially You God.

It’s not my expectation and of others that matters and that I should look up to. It’s You. This not the end. I have to fail in order to rise again. Therefore, I shall rise up.. And I’ll take with me the everlasting hope I have… That is You, Jesus.

           I choose to face the day with courage, faith, and hope knowing that You are with me. Though the road is uncertain I’ll still walk with it… trusting You because I know that when I fall and fail trillion times, You are right here with me… supporting and sustaining me with Your unfailing love and everlasting kindness. Thank You for Your consolation, it truly brings joy in my heart

 Let’s do it together again Daddy God. In Christ’s Name. Amen.

 

It’s okay… It’s okay…

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My Princess…

It’s okay to cry…

 

I see how hard you try to handle your heart, and I know you want to live a life without heartaches or pain. I’m asking you to take a step closer to your Father in heaven by crying out to Me when you hurt. Let Me heal you.

Remember My chosen, King David? He cried to Me in his fear, disappointments, sin, and I answered. You are also My chosen one, and you are My daughter… so it’s okay to cry.

I don’t expect you to pretend that pain is not real. It is truth and tears that will give you the freedom that I want you to know. Now, let go of that part of your heart that only I can I heal. Let your heavenly Daddy hold you while you cry…

 

 

Love,

Your King who wipes away your tears.

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Of all that happened these past few weeks all I can feel now is nothing but hurt and heartache. I have never felt this in the past. So I’m learning how to deal with this. Right now, all I want to do is to be in silence, ponder, and write my thoughts here. It is rather heavy to carry. ㅠㅠ

 

I’m tired of not being heard and being judged without hearing my side first. They made conclusion of what they heard from others so I don’t see the point or sense of explaining myself anymore.

 

They say different things in front of me. It hurts a lot. I’m not cleaning my hands nor defending myself. I know I also made mistakes. I regret trusting them with my concerns about a certain person. I trust them because they are my friends. They are not just my friend –They are my covenant friends. But my point is they shouldn’t be the one who talked to the person. They should have let me since it was I who had concern. I was just looking for a proper time.

 

I’m hearing different versions of the story. Different stories are added on. Different events are added on. And I’m totally confused. They are reaching me out now but I still don’t see the sincerity. I feel like they just want to fix this because this is what convenient for them. This is what will make their heart at peace. I just listened and observed.  I see selfishness, still. Things are centered to them. We in fact, we both hurt each others. We said things that we shouldn’t have said. We made actions and decision out of emotions.

 

I want to talk to them and fix everything but I just can’t. The pain is weighing me down into silence. Seeing them makes my heart cries that would not stop. This time I want to build a wall around myself and protect myself from hurt and pain, mistakes and judgment. Yet that is not what Christ did to me. Maybe I really  need time. I know this will be fixed. But I need time.

 

One thing I have learned from this, Christ is my friend no matter what I do. He loved me when I was still His enemy. He stands by me when I forsake Him. I am never completely loyal, yet He is always loyal and I have done nothing to deserve it. I have hurt Him over and over again, yet He forgives me each time, picks me back up, and loves me just the same.

 

 

 

Lord,

 

Things happen for a reason. I may not understand why these things are happening right now but I know You are in control. Fix every thing that is broken. Teach me to be humble just like what You did. I may feel negative feelings now but I know You will change this. In silence, let me know You’re near. Make whole what enemy had stolen. I know I have to face this. Give me strength and wisdom.  Keep me going.  ^^ Amen,

 

 

 

Stay strong for a little while T.T

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Life is just so full of butterflies and rainbows. Things suddenly happen unexpectedly. There are moments that are so extraordinary and there are moments that you just can’t explain. No matter how hard you try. This is how I feel now. T.T

I am caught off guard. I’m not doing well in all aspects maybe. I feel so bad about it. It is so frustrating to see myself not being able to do a lot of things that I have to. It’s rather been a period of disappointments after disappointments. Been a week isn’t something that is worth looking forward for.

Day after day, I’m asking God why am I like this. I’m trying to have positive mindset during this period. It’s just so difficult. There are thousands of factors at work on the outside that weighing me down.  Initially, the thought of coming out seems so pleasing, but now it isn’t anymore. Sometimes there isn’t much rest for me when I come out. I think now things seemed more and more mundane to me.

 

Dear heart,

Please stay strong for a little while.